i am not perfect

i could not sleep at night (for nights)
i prefer to do my devotion after midnight
bounce awake early in the morning

62 At midnight I rise to give you thanks for your righteous laws.
148 My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your
promises.

i do things my way
and end up crashing my head onto the wall
injured and dizzy
(confused, thinking why am i
the only unblessed Christian)

71 It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

my soul dreaded
( i am not a negative thinker,
just always filled with many concerns)

81 My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word.
109 Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law.

I cried daily
( i wonder if i am
depressed or emotional)

136 Streams of tears flow from my eyes, for your law is not obeyed.

Enlightenment from Psalm 119. (Not only a passage in the bible but my passage of life in seeking God)