roller coaster ride

i felt that i could do much but i did little
i know that i coould do better but i falter flat
i have aspirations but no inpiration to catch on that dream

i tell the truth in my blog but could not, face to face
i cannot perform in front of people, i like to hide
i do not like to show off
it is like pretentious
but....this is how the world works oh...

i am freaky, freaky
it seems that i need time to
observe myself and
even answer question about myself

it is like a third person asking a first person
i am not me
this "me" talking to me

i know one thing
experience and what i went thorough
seeps in between my nerve and memory system
affecting actions in public, how i appear, my change

maybe lack of self-control in mind constructing
free flow
here and there
on and off

my mind is on roller coaster ride!!!

up, down, twist and turn

fright ride and fun ride too....
actually, i am not afraid of this conditon
i enjoyed it...

i do not take the paths trodded by others
i reluctant to follow the ways of others
no matter how strange it is,
i will take it

as long as,
my life turn out
is differrent from others

not that my life is anything interesting
but this is my spirit...

a gypsy free spirit.............