Died and lived

If we have died with Him

we shall also live with Him

If we continue to endure

we shall also rule with Him

If we deny Him

he also will deny us

If we are not faithful

he remains faithful

because he cannot be false to Himself

2 Timothy 2: 11-13

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Above is the relationship between

me, myself and my Lord, Jesus Christ

He has given me new life, not one

but many new lives

chances to start anew

afresh

and now the living me

is living with Him, in Him

and through Him

as each day passes, i know that He has

a will for me.....

it seems that i am burning time meaninglessly

and endlessly

i am so aimless

at this moment, all i need to endure

is not challenges, problems nor mental tolerance

but .....

silentless, plainful but not painful period of my life

Am i losing my sense of direction

or that i am too adaptable

that i lost my senses?

i can't even feel anger, remorse nor jeolousy.

i do not have emotions, it seems

i smile a lot, but it is empty

God, i want to rule with you...lead me to endure these plains of emptiness........

God....i know that in many times, i was and am not faithful

to you...

i trust myself even more than trusting You

i worry so much and disbelief of Your providence and

promise to take care of me forever

And now, i can feel my faith deteriorating

i am looking around,

into these flesh and desires

seeing that it is not fulfilled

nor prospered

i know that the most precious possesion is when i close my eyes, i still know that it remains and never lost....it is Your Love and Grace to me...

Breathing at this moment is Your Promise to me that You have not left me, will never do and always stay by me...It is how You say that You are faithful to me!

Thank you to my faithful Lord! Let me feel Your mighty hands closing on to me, to feel your warmth and closenesss. Amen.