Forget what is behind

Forget what is behind

i am a forgetful person
i wonder why?

i do not like to remember
the facts
the dates

the past
the wrongdoings
what i should have done but did not
what i could have prevented but did not
the regrets

i like to live in the present
if it is over, i let it be
what is done is done, why brood over it?

i discover

i live in the past
i do not let go of the past
i hold on to it like a latch on a dog
and the dog keeps on tugging at the latch
sometimes, the little dog is budging me

i have to pull it strongly to keep it close

Psalm 139: 23

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

i am a contradict

Psalm 109:22

For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.

if i could not be and have what my heart desires
i let it be
for a moment
whenever possible, i will satisfy that ....
in a way

Psalm 134: 4

So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

conciously.... i have forgotten
subconciously.... i have not
unconciously....my life is fitting
my past into my present
like missing pieces of puzzle

there are too many times
i find myself going back

there are too many times
i find myself unable to resist

Romans 15:4

For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

but now i am ready to handle and tackle it
i am given a second chance

for myself;

i know that actually i am taking a familiar road
a path that i have walked down before
i do not want to give up without taking second chances

i do not like going through my life
thinking
what if...... i believe i could overcome....