clueless

sometimes we are so clueless......
we have been climbing, reaching up and keep going...
once getting above, we look ahead
and found the view so different and unexpected
could it be...
we have been laying our ladder against the wrong side of the wall?

this is such a painful experience
too painful to admit
so painful to even climb down and
start again...
start from scratch

God gives me this word of console in
my deepest sorrow and long-search
of why is it that we will lose momentum after some time?
boredom and frustration seeps in....

in mandarin (di yi chi) means first time

it is the beginning...
start from beginning
everything is a start
we have to have the excitement like it was the first time
we see, feel, touch and of doing...

when we are in emptiness and clueless
that we will come before God
with a mind totally cleared of distractions
deeply seek for His Guidance
after a while, we gain more confidence in ourselves
and less faith in God

this is when imbalance and momentum lost....is seen in us

dear readers,

remember the clue:

first time....start anew