me vs the world

and again,
i felt that this world is against me
i have done nothing wrong
not that i have done anything righteous

i thought it is out of my kind intention
i guess i need to be wiser as i get older
more convicted in my actions and heart motive, so that i would not react to stupid tricks by the Satan and his clique

i have a whelming response bulging from my chest
to proclaim,
"i dont care. ok. does not concern me. "
WHATEVER mentality, it is scary, unwise and plain silly.

however,
i realize that i need to accept the testing by God, Devil's attack and of men (the gullible and the self-righteous type)

You have seen the depth of their vengeance, all their plots against me.
Lamentations 3:59-61

though it is my weakness, God shall use it to honor Him.

i always believe that God is my defender and my protector.
He will judge the living and the dead.
i do not have to be angry and fall into unforgiveness.
does it matter who is right and who is in the wrong?
to judge is to judge upon ourselves.

If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
Mark 3:24-26

it is wartime...
not between people (we need to unite in love and spirit) - no Satan can break this bond of love

I CAN LOVE
I CAN LOVE
I CAN LOVE

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when his righteous judgment will be revealed.
Romans 2:4-6

it is against the unseen spiritual entities

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Ephesians 6:11-13

but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
Romans 7:22-24


i want to repent before GOd.
God, make me a new man
no longer come against you
and your loved beings
once and for all
take way all these pain and struggles
because you have made these yours
You died on the cross for my baggages and bondages.
Amen.

(Dear readers, this is my constant struggle. it is like wrestling with yourself. This lesson is a repeated lesson. Each time, it gets better and i realize that i come before God earlier and earlier. I believe that one day, i can complete this lesson and can teach others on this issue too)